Lost Angels

Living in Los Angeles and residing here are two completely different things. Allow me to highlight that for you:

Living in LA requires you to be doing what “Angelenos” do:

  • Eat at one of the hundreds of fine restaurants that offer you the same food you’ve always eaten but renamed and re-branded for the sake of originality
  • Attend galleries for people you’ve never heard of and never will care about while looking at “art” that is better sold on a Venice Beach boardwalk for the price of a deep-fried Oreo
  • Smoke from a myriad selection of weed strains while trying to act like you can tell one strain from the other
  • Buy food from Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s that is gluten-free and so organic you can smell the manure it was planted in
  • Show off that you are living in LA by telling people how awesome restaurants here are, how great the art scene is, how natural the food is, and how sublime the weed choice is

Residing in LA is a whole different story. You’re either at home or at work, planning a weekend getaway to Las Vegas, Santa Barbara, or Malibu, all of which you’ve been to more than you’d be willing to admit to yourself and are more boring than you’d be willing to admit to your friends and co-workers.

Hey, you have to stand out somehow, right? What’s the point of going on a staycation if you’re not going to boast about it? Either way, you are ultimately just staring out the window waiting for something to happen or for someone to come and tell you: “Good job! You’re in LA! Let’s chest-bump and give you that morale boost you were looking for!”

That, or you’re just another actor driving an Uber in-between roles, practicing yoga over the weekends.

But I hate, I hate! LA is actually an awesome spot, our primary choice of city when my wife and I planned our excursion to the land of the free, home of the brave. Something about it just stuck with us, and we hope our friends and loved ones discover its charm for themselves; the charm inherent in the wonderful food, inspiring art, and copious amounts of weed.

Published by Spark Makki

A writer and copy editor who sleeps because he has to and dreams because he can't afford not to.

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